Mike started drinking early in life, and by the age of 18 he had already been to jail and treatment. Though he loved alcohol, he drank for the effect and quickly lost all control. Married with children, Mike was motivated to stop drinking, but in spite of his best efforts, he could never put together more than thirty or sixty days. He said it was as if he had an “eraser in his mind”, that wiped out of his consciousness all reason for stopping, and all memory of the devastating effect that drinking was having on his life.
Things went from bad to worse, and Mike eventually racked up four DUIs, causing him to lose a business. After his wife left him, he spent a year in and out of jail, and he experienced the “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization” as described in the Big Book. Knowing that he couldn’t stop drinking, Mike took an overdose of prescription medication in an effort to cease his existence. He was almost successful, and when he found himself in the hospital, still living, he tried again, and once again, he was brought back to life. Eventually, he found his way to a sober living house and started attending meetings.
Mike worked the program with a sponsor, going through the steps. He says he was “all in” and God was no problem. Unfortunately, and beyond his comprehension, Mike relapsed after ten years of sobriety. Hitting bottom, he returned to AA, but found the original formula was no longer working. He needed to find out what specifically what he was doing to stay sober. If it wasn’t God, then what was it? Mike realized that it was people, he needed people. God wasn’t going to answer his prayers. As Mike put it, he got all the “God goodies that he was ever going to get’.
Today, Mike is sober, successful, happy and serene, and he learned to do it without a God.
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