Katie drank abnormally from the start, and early in life, developed a pattern of working hard and playing hard. In high school, she got involved in a relationship that became an obsessive attachment and from that point on, obsessive relationships, alcoholism, and workaholism would form her adult life. Now in recovery and her eighth year of sobriety, she had an awakening as she began to question the idea of a sobriety-granting god, which in turn led her to start a secular AA meeting at her homegroup. This is her story.
What we talked about
- Early signs of trouble.
- Acceleration of drinking.
- What helped her realize she needed help.
- Her early experiences with AA.
- Problems with the god bit.
- Expressing herself as a nonbeliever in AA.
- Coming to terms with her sexuality.
- Her view of recovery.
What really took me out was the isolation.
I felt like I was outsdie of myself. Like I wasn’t in my body, that I was looking at myself from the outside. And there was one day when I realized that I can’t do it. This is the moment. This is my last opportunity where I will have volition.
My experience was similar to a lot of women because unlike Bill Wilson or Doctor Bob, I didn’t have this feeling that I was the master of the universe.
Just having someone listen to me and not judge was huge. That was the turning point.
To really find out who we really are is quite a journey. It takes a lot of honesty and self-acceptance, so having like-minded people to talk to is essenatial, and is why I really knew that I wouldn’t be able to ontinue in AA if I couldn’t carve out that space for myself. Because it would be assumig a level of dishonestly that I knew couldn’t work, and it wouldn’t be recovery anymore.